Here's Jack!

Dear Jack,

I see you so clearly right now, it’s as if you’re just down the hall, getting ready—choosing your fall look with that signature Jack confidence. Tan cargo pants, a striped polo in rich autumn colors, excited to lose the summer wardrobe and have new choices.  You always had a way of owning your style, even at your young age, and I imagine now at 18, you’d be even bolder with it.  I would attempt the Birks and you would default to your squeaky clean New Balances that always perfectly matched your outfit. Socks too!

I can almost see your hair now, longer, those curls finally getting their moment. Moving away from the short and tight, to the trendy, flowy and long.  On trend.   Maybe a few highlights too—because when Jules got hers, I just know the wheels were turning in your mind. You were always curious, always watching, always ready to try something new with a grin that said,“Why not?”

Your birthday. Eighteen. I can feel the weight of it in my chest—how big it is, how much it should’ve been. I would’ve needed a bigger SUV this year, just to fit the 18 balloons we would tie to your wheels.   Cookies and cream ice cream, of course. The party would have been wild—colorful, loud, full of your favorite people (especially the girls, because let’s be honest, Jack, you were always surrounded by them). I used to joke that you wouldn’t ever settle on just one. But maybe this year? Maybe.

Tomorrow is the day. I’ll carry it with both pain and delight—aching for what’s missing, and loving you so much it still takes my breath away. I’ll plan something. Something you’d show up for, because I know you do! Keep the signs coming.

See you tomorrow, buddy.
Love you forever,
Mom